Letter to a Troll

Notes to Mr. J H Wiles, letter writer in the 2 May Gulf News:
As a troll living under a bridge somewhere, it is understandable that you are out of touch with recent history.
1. The 1950’s called and they want their Cold War-era, Pinko-Commie-Red Menace rhetoric back.
2. Since you’ve obviously been cryogenically frozen since at least the late 80’s I have a news flash for you- Russia is not the former Soviet Union, nor are there any other countries which answer to the description you imply. Russia is a thriving consumer-based society under the firm grip of a capitalist oligarchy just like the USA, Europe and New Zealand. Corruption and fraud are the order of the day the world around now.
3. The Gulf News only appears “Far Left” to you because you are dangling from the far right fringe. What you are actually seeing is called “Center Kiwi”. People on the left have just as many issues with various articles in the Gulf News as you do. This suggests that the Gulf News attains that fair balance of pissing off either side equally.
4. You say you would never buy the Gulf News yet you have obviously read enough of it to feel entitled to comment. So you must be one of those people who reads magazines without paying for them. Does that suggest you are rooted in communism?
5. In your letter you say you are sure that the Gulf News won’t print your letter, but then they obviously did. You have confused Gulf News with the Marketplace, which does regularly fail to print letters which insult its constituents. Gulf News is a real newspaper and as such prints letters from across the spectrum in the community, even attack letters like yours. You should feel lucky to have such a newspaper in which to air your foul humour.
Now properly educated, please feel free to crawl back under your bridge.trollunderbridge