idth=”240″ height=”299″ />What is it they say about teaching old dogs new tricks? Well they are right. It’s a devilishly tricky business.
I refer of course to my bemusement at suddenly, in comfortable middle age, finding myself as a Lefty. It’s all rather new and strange. I’ve never been one before you see. I’ve been a student, an actor, a writer, a brewer, a folk singer, a son, a brother, a husband, an annoying menace, a beer sodden fool, and once, during the Sussex magic mushroom harvest of 1979, an emperor penguin called Betty.
But a proper Leftist/Marxist/Trotskyite/Wobbly/Red-under-The-Bed? Never. But there you go. Seems my involvement with the rest of you tiny minority agitator types over the last week or so has forced this amazing metamorphosis upon me and now I have to get used to it. Our new leaders have spoken from their Olympian heights upon the subject and they seem to know about this stuff. They are real politicians you see, and their word is law.
One glimpse at the editorial page of the Gulf News will make the change irreversible apparently. The far left propaganda of ‘Red Liz’ and her Bolshevik cohorts at April Arcade will turn you from a decent citizen into a bomb heaving anarchist before you even get to the letters page. What fascinating times we live in eh?
So bear with me ‘Comrades’ as I try and assimilate all this. I’ve been trying to remember how the lefties of my student days went about their daily business. There’s the open toed sandals and duffel coat to be worn of course. Always start with the simple stuff. Crap dress sense I can manage. But what about actually BUYING the paper? I can’t go to Woolworths obviously. That’s a huge faceless multinational that grinds the faces of the workers or some such. So it will have to be the corner store. Maybe I could even walk there and reduce my carbon footprint? Maybe not, one thing at a time. What if they bid me a good morning? Normally I’d agree but as a Lefty I might have to add that the nice weather is due to climate change and that fifteen and a half polar bears have asphyxiated in the time it took me to buy the paper. This is proving harder than I thought.
So, back home and time to read. Get a coffee on the go and…Oh hell, is it Fair Trade coffee? It doesn’t say on the packet. Back to the shop, remembering to get roll your own tobacco for that authentic ‘Solidarity with the workers’ look. No tailor mades for this lefty thank you very much. Light one of those up and you might as well vote ACT and be done with it.
With the refreshments dealt with we turn to the Gulf News. What biased reportage can we expect? Very little as it turns out. There’s a small headline at the bottom of the front page that mentions ‘dismay’ in certain quarters and a story on the new Mayor promised for page 16.the editorial is gentle and surprisingly upbeat. Not actually ‘BALANCED’ of course. They still mention that there are some people still not happy with the state of things. To be ‘BALANCED’ means ignoring that stuff apparently. But twenty three letters take us all the way to page 12 with only one NOT relating to politics and one not actually relating to Faye-Gate. Several are ones we’ve already read in the ‘Fairfax’ so no surprises there, I do wish these people would add their thoughts on One Waiheke as well.
Once again we’ll set aside the letters from board members and see how the public divides. This time it’s eleven to Denise and four to Faye. Obviously the huge majority of pro Faye letters were omitted thus proving the intolerable bias of the Gulf News. Right?
The pro-Faye letters rehash the whole Chair debate and focus entirely on the assumption that this is all her detractors care about. Hey ho, here we go again.
And so we reach page 19 and once again are urged not to get disorderly on Saturday. The article has no quotes from the G of F so once again we are in Biasville, but does manage to give some good information concerning how Saturday’s activities will develop. The story ends with a quote from the Council’s press release saying that the meeting will include ‘local entertainment’.
I rather think it will.
As for me I just want to be a Libertarian again! Is there any way I can go back to that and still think Faye Storer is well out of order?